Wednesday, November 19, 2008

How to Speak Southern

* DID (adjective) — Not alive.
Usage “He’s did, Jim.”

* ARE (noun) — A colorless, odorless gas. i.e., oxygen.
Usage “He can’t breathe. Give ‘IM some ARE!”

* BOB WAR (noun) — A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

* JEW HERE (noun and verb) — Contraction.
Usage “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”

* HAZE (noun and verb) — Contraction.
Usage “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah … haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n is laf.”

* SEED (verb) — Past tense of “to see.”
Usage “I ain’t never seed

* GUBMINT (noun) — A bureaucratic institution.
Usage “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

* BARD (verb) — Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

* JAWJUH (noun) — The state north of
Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”

* BAMMER (noun) — The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”

* MUNTS (noun) — A calendar division.
Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”

* THANK (verb) — Cognitive process.
Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

* IGNERT (adjective) — Not smart. See ”
Arkansas native.”
Usage “Them bammer boys sure are ignert!”

* ALL (noun) — A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

* RETARRED (verb) — To stop working.
Usage “My grampaw retarred at age 65.”

* FARN (adjective) — Not domestic.
Usage “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. Must be from some farn country.”

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